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I’m Thankful

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I love Fall. It’s my favorite time of year. November means crisp, cool Friday nights at the football field (Go LG!). It means the gorgeous orange, reds and yellows of the changing leaves. It means hoody sweatshirts and chili in the crockpot. It means the smell of burning leaves and brush coming from the field. It means hot cups of coffee on cold mornings in the deer stand or the duck blind. And it means that it’s officially the season of the holidays. Thanksgiving has now come and gone, and Christmas is only a few short weeks away.

Anytime I think of the holidays, my mind takes me straight back to Stamper Ranch. Continue reading I’m Thankful

A Day That Will Live in Infamy: The Day Someone Puked In My Sink

Ok, so it’s taken me a few hours to be able to talk about this. I think I have finally summoned up the courage and strength to talk about it, without crying. But I’m making no promises.

Last night, as many of you read, I stayed in a cabin, so I could go turkey hunting this morning. I did not know one of the men that I ended up sharing the cabin with. The cabins are one room, with 4 beds in them….and a bathroom. A shared bathroom.

This led to one of the most traumatic experiences of all of my life. Here it is.

I woke up before the other two guys, at about 5:00, and walked sleepy-eyed into the bathroom. When I turned on the light, what I found defies explanation. It’s horrific-ness can’t truly be explained. What I saw, cannot be unseen. Ever. If I live another 60 years, I will think if this horrible day, every day. With horror.

HE. PUKED. IN. THE. SINK. HEPUKEDINTHESINKOHMYGAWDOHMYGAWDOHMYGAWD. HE PUKED IN THE FREAKIN’ SINK.

He PUKED. In the SINK. Where I wash my hands. And where I brush my teeth. Where I wash my hands! OMG he puked in the sink.

I felt like I was in the murder scene of ‘Psycho’. The scary music in the background, with terror and disgust bursting through my veins. I’m not exactly sure how long I stared at it, but it felt like an eternity.

When I finally got my wits about me, I yelled “SONUVABITCH!”

And from the darkness, from the safety of his own bed, the culprit said “is it bad?” I said “IS IT BAD?! THE FREAKING SINK IS FULL OF PUKE! HELL YES ITS BAD!”

He said, “Sorry about that. Couldn’t find the light switch. Here, let me clean it up so you can use the sink.” I looked at him with amazement in my eyes, and I replied, “I wouldn’t use that damn sink if you gave me $1,000,000.” And I grabbed my things and went to the bathroom in the main building. Ya know, the bathroom WITHOUT puke in the sink.

How I feel right now cannot really be put into words. Pretty much, every emotion that you can think of, I’ve felt it this morning. I’m emotionally exhausted. I’m horrified. And I feel extremely dirty. Yep….I’m crying now.

The only logical and reasonable thing that I can think to do now, is burn the cabin down. At this point, I cannot imagine a scenario where it can be saved. It’s called Collateral Damage.

5.2.14….I’ll never forget.

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Watch out, boys

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Being the daddy of 3 daughters, I hear PLENTY about, “oh, you’re sure gonna have to watch out when the boys start coming around”, or “when you’ve got sons, you’ve gotta keep your eye on one boy. When you’ve got girls, you’ve gotta keep your eyes on ALL boys”, etc etc. And yes, the thought of Abby being 13 and probably going to start having boyfriends in the coming years is a bit worrisome, just because, I was once a teenage boy, and I don’t trust them. Any of them.

Abby is pretty and she’s smart, but she’s also very mature, and very cautious. So, I know that it will eventually happen, but I feel like that her mother and I can always talk to her, and can feel confident she’ll make good decisions.

BUT, then there’s Emma…..

And as I watch the pretty blue eyes sparkle beneath her blonde hair, while she sings “Mama’s Broken Heart”, and “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” with such fervor and attitude, word for word, slinging her head and nearly bouncing out of her seat, as all of her little body flows with energy, I just start to laugh to myself. Because she will scare the CRAP out of some poor kid, someday. And I kinda already feel sorry for him. He’ll never see it coming.

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